Joanie's Home Page

Hi!  I'm Joanie, a singer from Fife.  This website should give you all the info on my job as a singer.  This includes gig dates, past gig reviews and a "wartz & all" account of the ups and downs of the job. Any reviews and recommendations made on the site are my views only.

NEWS NEWS NEWS....

I've added in a few more available dates!

My calendar will be updated on a regular basis, so keep checking or give me an email if you wish to book to avoid disappointment. Dates tend to go pretty quickly, so don't "hing aboot". Please click below to find out where you can come and see me, or to check if I am free...

My Calendar

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My Latest Gig...

After every gig I write a short review of how it went, the latest few are below. 

NB. Why not try clicking on Past Gigs to browse through the venues I've played over my years of singing in pubs and clubs? You can also use the search bar at the top of the page to search for your local.

Saturday 21st August 2010 - Peterhead FC Social Club

I've gigged once before in Peterhead, but at another venue, so I had no idea what to expect from this club.  We arrived realllly early, as is the usual when doing a venue for the first time.  Well you never know what the layout will be like, or if there'll be stairs, parking issues etc.  There had been an away match at East Fife (of all places) and they'd lost 2-1, which didn't bode well.  Frankly, I was a bit worried about how they'd react when I told them we're from Fife and we used to stay in a house which overlooked the East Fife stadium!  So I joked with them that I live just across the water from Edinburgh.  My jokes are a bit dodgy though, so there wasn't much laughter.  It may have been my accent though (right?).

It's quite a journey to Peterhead from our wee house in Kirkcaldy - around 3 hours at "Al velocity"...Not that we would ever speed...

There were two sets of birthday banners up when we arrived - one for a 21st, one for a 50th birthday.  They were both guys too, so I thought "great - my kind of audience".  Then in came a fair few young girls dressed for a night on the town, so I was raring to get started.

My first set was met with what I can only describe as apathy and quite a few funny looks.  It wasn't the material, as I could see them singing along.  It makes me wonder if, in this age of mp3 players and ipods, we are all so desensitised to music that we forget it's on sometimes.  I wonder if people forget that it's a live singer doing their work....

During my first break the large group of girls were working their way through quite a few shots, so they loosened up a little for the second half, and even did a bit of dancing.  Strangely enough though, they all sat down for the more dancy type tracks, so that confused me a bit.

After the end of the second half, I took the attitude of "stuff it, I'll do what I like".  Well what I like is a bit of rock and pop, followed by some classic rock.  Many of the younger crowd had left by that time, and I was left with my age group - brilliant! They got down and danced to all sorts from Erasure to Bon Jovi, The Bangles to Journey. 

I reckon a change of attitude from me is forthcoming - maybe I'll just do what I enjoy rather than trying to please the crowd so much...

Saturday 14th August 2010 - The Jolly Beggars, Milnathort

OMFG!  What a night!  This is quite a 'bijou' hotel, and the bar area is quite small- but they fairly pack em in!  The local agricultural show had been on that day, and a fair few punters had had a good 'swally'.  They were stocking up on Anne's gorgeous pub grub before the evening's entertainment.  The very smell of the food in this place makes your mouth water - I must get along for a meal sometime.

Anyhoo...The bar has had a wee bit of a facelift - a wee lick of paint - which made it look very classy indeed. There was a PA already set up when we arrived - nothing to worry about however - the pub now has its own PA for karaokes etc.  Al soon moved it to the back of the oche (bit for darts), and set ours up.  We just bring our basic set up - 2 x srm450s and led lights - to this gig, so it doesn't take up too much room.  For bigger venues we have two bass bins and a bigger set of lights. 

As most of the locals either know me well or had been out all day, they were understandably eager for me to get on with singing their favourite tunes, so I put aside all my usual first set material and got on with the job at hand.  Time fairly flew by, and before I knew it it was time for my first break.  (NB I take two smaller breaks instead of the usual one big break).  Then another two sets of pop and rock to finish were the order of the day. The joint was jumping, as they say, and during "Sex on Fire" I asked them to sing along, and the volume of their singing made me wish I'd kept my earphones in!  Wow!  They are always up for a good night at the Beggars, and I hope I'm back soon.

I had just one problem during the night - during my rendition of "Bad Romance"  by Lady Gaga, the mic gain knob on my mixer mysteriously turned itself up full, and I had to stop the song due to screeching feedback.  Al reckons I caught the knob with my sleeve, but I swear i was nowhere near it.  Could it be the famous ghost of the Jolly Beggars?  Maybe he doesn't like Lady Gaga....

Well I hope things go smoothly next time, and promise to leave out the "Bad Romance", Mr Ghostie. 

Saturday 7th August 2010 - Arthurlie FC Social Club, Barrhead

After a wee phone call from Katy Hart, a good friend of mine on Facebook, I was booked for Saturday at Arthurlie.  Thank goodness, said I, as I was available, and could have done with a job coming in.  Thanks to Katy!

I had no idea of what to expect from the venue, so once again I consulted my buddies on Facebook, and was told the layout of the place re loading and unloading, as well as the average age of the crowd and what to expect re sets and material.  a big thanks to Jackie Clarke.  It's always nice to have friends who help you out, and I like to have all the facts before going to a venue. I even look at the street view on Google Maps!

Anyway, back to the review. 

Billy, the boss, made me very welcome from the word go, and was grateful to have filled the empty spot he found he had on a Saturday night.  I realise it must've been a bit nerve wracking for him to book a singer he'd never heard of or met, but again we both have Katy to thank for that one. Billy tells me he toured with a few bands around the circuit so he was a mine of information, and had a fair few stories to tell!

It was an 8.30pm start, but I was advised to hang off till the place got a bit busier, so I started at 8.45pm and did my first set til 10pm, when there was (of course!) a bit of bingo. then my second set went from 10.40 til 12, with cries of "more".  Excellent. The sets were slightly longer than I would normally do, but I paced myself well and did a fair bit of blethering in between.  I will have to remember to slow down a bit so the crowd can understand my accent - mind you my jokes are reeeeally bad, so maybe it's not a bad thing if I talk a bit fast.  It was commented on that I am a bit of a character - you'll have to make up your own mind on that one....

My two sets mostly consisted of older material, due to the crowd enjoying the genre, so I didn't get much of my newer material or rock in until near the end, when the crowd demanded "Human" by the Killers.  Cool.  Suits me! My "Fire with Fire" by the Scissor Sisters is going down well too.

After the gig, Billy was straight over with his diary, and I secured another two bookings for the year, with promises of more bookings next year if he's still in charge of entertainment. Many of the crowd came across on their way out to tell me how impressed they were with me.  It's a wonder I could fit my big head in the car to go home! 

Monday 2nd August 2010 - Pettycur Bay Caravan Park, Kinghorn

After a night off with a heavy cold, I was glad to get back to work at Pettycur.  The Waterfront Bar was quite empty at the beginning of the night, and I was told that last Monday was quite quiet.  We set up and were prepared for a small audience, only to find that most of the people who had come into the restaurant for dinner decided to stay!  They were very friendly, and I had some good applause throughout the night!

These are the nights when you feel best about your work - you're maybe not feeling 100%, and have had a couple of quiet gigs.  Then you find a happy bunch of people who enjoy listening to your dodgy banter and stay to sing and dance along with you.  I think they were happy with my mix of material, and most of them stayed until the back of 11, when many had to leave with their (very) tired kids.

So thanks Pettycur!  You perked me up no end, and made me feel good about my job.  As KT Tunstall says - "Suddenly I see - this is what I want to be!".  This job has its ups and downs, and this gig was definitely an 'up'!

Friday 30th July 2010 - Red Lion Caravan Park, Arbroath

Well another strange night in the Red Lion Park.  I am told that the locals have told the management that they want the downstairs bar to be open with entertainment available, but I'm wondering where they are?!

I had a grand total of 10 people in and out all evening, and while they were lovely people and were very appreciative, I could have done with a few more.  It didn't help that they had the amazing Linton Osborne upstairs, doing his Elvis tribute and a good mixture of swing, pop and rock material.  I went up during my break to find a packed house upstairs, full of people with their kids who aren't allowed in the downstairs lounge.

I had one very nice group left at midnight, who were obviously enjoying what they were hearing, so I must say thanks to them for keeping me company. 

Oh and a big HI! to Craig behind the bar, who tells me that most acts in the downstairs bar have a quiet night.

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I've been told that there are a good few other acts having a look at my site to see what I have said about some venues.  I'd like to say HI! and welcome to my site.  Please remember that the reviews I write are...

my opinion only

...and should not be used by you as a guide on which gigs to take or not take.  We all have good gigs and bad gigs, and we all change our acts and attitude as we go along to suit the venue/time of year/ourselves. If you're not sure about a gig, do it anyway - you'll still get paid!  Sometimes it is all about the money, and sometimes you'll just be background music.  Them's the breaks, and sometimes you may be pleasantly surprised!

If you'd like to give your opinion on a gig, then by all means do. You will find a Comments link at the top of the page. If you'd like a link from my site to yours, drop me an email. or ask me via the form.

My Guarantee..

I am always straightforward, and will always turn up at a venue unless I am genuinely ill or have a good reason, in which case I will let you know as soon as possible and try to get you another act for that night (I cannot guarantee that I will definitely find someone specific, but I can put you in contact with a few agents if need be). 

I can also guarantee that I will never cancel a booking at short notice for a more lucrative one elsewhere.

Important information for venues

If I recommend someone it's always face to face with the manager/owner venue in question. If you are approached by anyone who claims I have sent them or recommended them, or are ever unsure, give me a call/text or email me.

To any of you who may have missed my annual Christmas message, you can view the old one here